p|ggy`qI dreamlandx

ii jus cant do wiithout euu =(

2006-03-21T18:54:00.000-08:00

i had a terrible dream last nite.. so scary.. i dreamt tt willy dun wan me le.. he told me he has fallen for another girl.. n no longer love me anymore.. he said.. "me n u are in the past.. no more wild boar n fire boar.. no more love between us.." hais.. i'm sad.. i cried.. but fortunately.. its jus a dream.. this dream made me realise how much i need u.. i dun wish to lose u ever again.. pls.. god.. pls help my deariie.. he's a good guy.. a good boyfriend too.. i promise to cherish u always.. i will not bully u or take u for granted le.. all i wan is euu.. dear.. =(

blur blur me.. omg! =pp

2006-03-17T07:26:00.000-08:00

dear n me.. =(

2006-03-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

may god bless him.. he's my one n only!

butt n me.. hugs

2006-03-17T07:20:00.000-08:00

memories of us.. =)

2006-03-17T07:18:00.000-08:00

dear.. pls.. get well soon! i miss u!

dear god! pls help mui dear.. =(

2006-03-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

so sad.. god.. pls help me! help my poor darling.. i dun wish anything to happen to him.. i will pray for him.. pray to u in behave of him.. pls.. he's a good man.. a good friend.. a good boyfriend.. pls.. help him.. bless him.. i promise to be good.. i promise to take good care of him.. pls.. god.. help him! i beg u.. =(

me.. me.. me.. a lil pic of jus me! =pp

2006-03-15T10:54:00.000-08:00

opps!! this is me! me.. me.. hmmm.. soo act cute.. took this pic at panjang.. hee.. omg.. twist in action! no disturbing ar.. hee!

now den ii realiise.. u're so iimpt to mee

2006-03-15T09:38:00.000-08:00

darling.. sorry.. its my fault to made u sick again.. really sorry.. i really felt so lost without ur voice, ur laughters, ur lame-ness, ur smiles, ur tease.. everything.. hais.. deariie.. ii miss euu so much! now den i noe i care so much for euu.. now den i know how worried i am without u..
u know hor.. those 2 days u didnt on hp.. i'm so worried? i really did so much to find u.. hais.. i was like.. keep praying tt u're fine.. hope tt nth will happen to u.. if really smth happened to u, wat am i going to do? do u bare to leave me? hais.. dear.. pls get well soon hao ma? tml i'll go visit u at NUH de.. hais.. miss u soo much! pls.. god.. dun let anything happened to my dear.. i'll bear for him.. pls.. sobs..

heys! i'm backs.. juz too bored! =pp

2006-03-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. sooooo long didnt update blog le.. hee.. hmmm.. its time to wor.. hee..
now de qi.. got 1 darling. 1 teletubby. 1 mei-gam. others all drifted apart from me le.. and.. hmmm.. no more pipi.. haha.. no more "zhu" le ba.. its the second time losing him le.. but its ok.. he got gf le.. always tot of him whenever i heard "jue jiang".. miss him alot sometimes.. hais.. but no choice.. he got a gf le.. i muz distanced away from him.. sorry.. sometimes is i purposly dun wan reply ur msg or wat de.. cos.. i also dunno leh.. shouldnt be so close to u.. i got bf.. u got gf now too.. though i truly miss u alot alot sometimes.. life seems to be weird without contacting with u.. but its ok ba.. hope u will stay happily with ur girl.. take good care of urself ba.. hmmm.. nowadays quite good with jeff.. hee.. oppss! he's moii teletubby! he's sooo funny.. say regretted not being with me last time.. hee.. omg.. sooo lame! but wish u and sl will be back together again ok.. dun sad le.. i'm ur baby sun.. dun hide things from me wor.. hee.. anything juz come to me.. q's here for u.. last of all.. muii little darling.. dun jealous ok.. u're mine.. and i'm definately urs.. dun worry ok.. hee.. no matter wat.. i wont run away de.. cos i know u dun bare to let off my hands rite.. hee.. *shy* muackiies.. sometimes juz dunno how to express my care. love. n miss for uu! darling.. understand me more ok! happy 6th month anniversary! muackiiees!! luvs u and only u always.. =pp

[09.09.05] .. a new story begin.. will it be a nice chapter? =)

2005-09-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. update time.. dun be shock ya? i had finally found moii prince le.. i finally have the courage to step into another relationship after 1 yr plus? it took me quite some time to be with him.. but after being with him.. i realised how impt he is to me.. and how much i care and love him.. today its juz the 7th dae of us.. but we had lots of ups and downs le..
hmmm.. with him around.. i feel so comfortable.. with him around i feel so fortunate.. with him around.. i feel so secured.. though he may not be perfect.. neither am i perfect.. though he may not be moii dream guy.. but i believe he'll definately make a good boyfriend.. and i believe we'll have a sweet chapter coming..
deariie boi boi.. thx for showering ur care and concern for me.. i noe everything u did is for me.. i noe u alwayz think for me.. sorry.. alwayz so childish.. dun understand u.. but i truly love u worx.. and i promise to be by ur side ya? presently.. no one else in moii mind except u.. thus dun needa worry ya? heex.. =p
felt so romantic.. first time got guy carry me on his bicycle.. somemore is moii boyfriend! omg.. sooo sweet! still remember first time u send me to batok den go gombak den go back batok again on ur bicycle.. wow.. sooo funny lor.. den ytd u also juz sent me to panjang with ur bicycle from batok.. wow! moii butt hurts! and moii leg also cramp le.. but its ok.. coz its sweet.. and also coz its u who's moii personal driver..
hmmm.. be moii personal driver forever ok? though there's times when i feel we may not suit each other.. and there's time when i dun even understand wat u're thinking.. and also there's time when i have the urge to break off with u.. but.. i wont give up de.. coz i will never wanna regret losing u.. u're indeed a very good guy.. thus i muz hold u tight tight.. heex..
but if.. one day u really feel like leaving me *touch wood*.. its ok.. i will never stop u and will never force u to be back with me.. coz seeing u smiling happily is moii only wish.. i rather to see u happily den to see u sad.. coz u're alwayz moii dearest deariie silly boi boi..
chanel loves willy ..
no.13 luvs no.9 ..
girl girl <3 boi boi ..
and of course .....
i ("v") u .. *muackx*

miss moii boi boi lots lots.. i'll alwayz cherish u! =p

i'm sorry.. juz wanna be single..

2005-09-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

currently i have a close guy friend.. somehow he also confess his feelings for me.. i feel real fortunate to have him in moii life.. he made me feel tt i'm not tt lonely.. but dunno why.. juz having this feeling tt i wanna stay single.. it doesnt mean tt i dun have a single bit of feelings for him.. but juz dun wish to have a boyfriend currently..
juz wish to stay happiee.. living happily with moii family.. and getting along well with moii friends.. i need moii family and friends.. dun wish to alwayz made mummy angry.. so muz be home early these few days.. moii friends are impt to me too.. like ping, chicky, piaodong, na, boss, yi, ann, and lots lots.. they brighten up moii life.. and alwayz being with me.. i miss being with ping.. miss being with grace..
though these days got ppl pei me.. but.. something still seems to be amiss..
dun wish to lose anyone in life.. especially those impt to me..
maybe presently its still not the right time to be in a relationship ba..
thus.. piaodong.. dun keep asking me to be with him..
i really dunno wat to do at times..
maybe like wat na say.. its still not the right time ba..
* i miss moii zhu.. i miss zen too.. sometimes.. moii ex appear in moii mind too..
i dunno why.. but too much things in me..
and o'level is coming.. i seems to be in a lost..
lots of subjects i'm still unsure of.. so must buck up le..
hope i will do well for o level and go to a course tt i wan..

kinda miss u.. but ur mind never tot of me.. =(

2005-08-14T23:42:00.000-07:00

went to see ur blog.. hai.. same like last time.. ur life is still full of girls.. alwayz girls.. haiz.. kinda miss the past when we alwayz msg and meet up.. haiz.. but it was the past.. why? why i always tot of u.. but.. u never did? am i juz a passerby in ur life? never someone whom u wanna cherish? haiz.. kinda down.. why am i feeling down whenever i went through ur blog? it hurts..
- to you.. [ sea-food : "p" ]

='(

and.. ping.. are we drifting apart? haiz.. *saddens*

happy to noe u.. sometimes.. i juz wonders...

2005-08-14T23:31:00.000-07:00

i like the "u" when we're msging.. but dislike the "u" in real life.. like to fierce ppl.. especially me.. omg.. alwayz give a face tt i cannot tahanz.. but find u quite sweet and caring at times too..
hmmm.. alwayz surprises me with new stuffs.. first is the "pic".. second is the "shirt".. hahaha.. thx worx.. sometimes juz feel quite touched.. hen kai xin ke yi ren shi ni.. zhen de ooo.. juz dun keep fierce-ing me can le..
but sometimes i juz wonders.. is the one who msg me "u"? hahaha.. coz its truly quite different ba.. and.. maybe ba.. i may not be able to forget him.. never get rid of him from moii heart.. but i wont wanna fell for him more.. coz me and him are impossible.. dun wish to give moiiself a fake hope.. he'll alwayz be moii "dream-guy".. someone juz like a dream.. a dream tt will never come true.. isnt it? hais..
but thx for everything ya? ur msgs brightens me up.. made me feel tt i'm not lonely.. a thousand thx to u.. someone i called bendan.. but he never wans it.. haha.. =p
p.s .. i truly thinks tt u and her make a perfect match.. muz jiayou ok.. heex.. qi support u.. *winkx*

* giving up in progress *

2005-08-12T01:16:00.000-07:00

long time no post le.. hmmm.. these daes seems sad again.. hmm.. piaodong seems quite close with [ sly + jay ].. he always msg her.. hai.. really really hurtz sia.. actually didnt wan let her noe how i felt de.. coz dun wish her to worry.. but.. i shouldnt lie to her.. coz she's moii good friend.. so.. i told her.. told her i'm sad.. but now its ok le..
its really impossible to get to noe him better.. and.. he alwayz seems sooo loving with his gf.. sometimes really so envy of his gf.. he'll save money juz to take cab down to find her gf.. isnt tt very lovely? if i'm his gf (its not possible).. i wont ever let him spend sooo much money on me.. haiz.. i rather i dun have money also wont let him dun have money sia.. hmmm.. but.. thinking too much.. he's moii "dream guy".. how will it be possible to be with "dream guy" worx.. omg! xu hui qi.. dun be soo naive la! omg! wake up la~
haiz.. i noe i noe.. tts why lor.. i said.. i should give up.. i will never ever let u noe moii true feelings towards u.. never! coz.. i'm afraid of rejections.. especially rejections from the one i cared of sooo much..
and.. todae sooo heart painz.. he injured his leg during match.. wow! was sooo shock! how i wish i can run there and help him at tt vary moment sia.. but.. i didnt.. i stare there.. looking stunned.. wasnt noe wat to do.. he seems sooo pain.. omg.. xin tong sia! but at last ask christina tell him to take off his shoes.. soo toopid.. injured ankle still sit there do nth.. haiyoo.. *ah bish* how i wish i was by ur side.. ='(
and.. most of all! get to noe willy! heex.. hmm.. quiet and shy and DAO was the first impression of him to me.. but after smsing with him.. find him real nice sia.. heex.. good guy lai de ba.. caring and cute.. of course not he cute.. i mean his tiger teeth! omg!!!! sooo ke ai sia!!! heex.. how i wish u can give it to me.. heex.. i also wan! no la.. kidding.. hmmm.. very ke ai de guy.. waiting for her right girl.. i believe u found le.. juz tt u havent realised ar.. *evil grins* hahaha.. ok la.. dun tease u ar.. oh ya! moii apple cute horx.. haha.. appreciate ar! heex.. next time give u more fruits ok.. heex.. and ar! take care of ur injured knee! ask u dun stress liaoz.. keep stressing.. shou bu liaoz ni.. heex.. wo de tian ar! congrats.. top scorer today.. see.. i told u! u can do it de.. coz got add enough oil ma.. enough dao lan sia.. heex.. and! dun keep asking me "bu yao chao" liaoz la.. hurting sia.. hahaha.. opps.. kidding la.. bleahx..
xu hui qi.. ting hua.. bu ke yi zai shang xin le ooo.. yi ding yao kuai le ooo.. bu ran wo yao da ni le ooo! alwayz sad here sad there.. shou bu liaoz! ni shuo ni hui kuai le.. ni shuo ni hui kai xin.. zheng ming gai da jie kan.. yi ge kai lang de ni.. ming bai ma?
replied: *nod nod* wo zhi dao le.. ='(
[ by huiqi.. ] .. hahaha.. ok.. i noe its lame.. nvm.. =p

+ oh gosh.. feeling lost.. n.. i dreamt of him! +

2005-07-28T20:24:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. these daes feelings very down ba.. coz.. everyone impt to me seems to be leaving me again and again.. haiz.. moii hp alwayz very busy de.. alwayz alot msgs.. but nowadays.. moii hp sooo quiet.. not much msgs anymore.. maybe not used to it ba.. but its ok.. i'll stay happiiee de.. heex.. i promise worx!
and.. moii p.i.a.o.d.o.n.g.. really wanna thx her sooo much.. alwayz being there for me whenever i need someone to be by moii side.. u played a real impt role in moii lonely life worx.. heex.. and.. i'm sorry to made u cried.. hope u wont misunderstand me in the future le ya? trust moii words.. coz.. i will never lie to u de.. muz xiang xin wo ar! ok?
moii butt-dy ping fallen asick.. got flu, got cough, got fever.. sooo kelian.. hmmm.. didnt come school these few days worx.. muz take care and drink more plain water ar! if not wrack ur butt ar! heex.. and.. sometimes i may not show out moii care for u.. but indeed.. as a best butt-dy of urs.. i do care alot for u worx.. if not how to be ur butt-dy worx? haiyoyox.. sorry.. alwayz attitude u.. give u tt kinda face when i'm dulanx.. hope u will understands me ya? heex.. sometimes i really dun mean it de.. u should noe worx.. heex.. ok la.. truly misses u worx.. ytd u didnt come play majong with us.. i feel so weird.. heex.. majong without moii butt-dy ping.. sooo strange~ heex.. =p
and.. ytd nite.. i dreamt of him.. moii [sly + jay] .. i dreamt tt we becomes friends.. we start talking.. and getting very close.. i was sooo happiiee.. really soooo happiiee!! i tot moii wish really came true.. coz one of moii wish is "get to noe u more" haiz.. but when i woke up in the morning.. i finally realised.. its juz a dream.. real disappointed.. haiz..
wo zhen de hen xi wang ke yi ren shi ni.. ke yi gen ni tan tian shuo xiao.. ke yi gen ni sms.. ke yi gen ni jiang dian hua.. ke yi xia qu batok kan ni.. ke yi kan ni na chan lan de xiao rong..
haiz.. but.. will moii wish come true? i really miss u~ ='(

+ .. opps.. miss them sia ..+

2005-07-15T02:41:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. suddenly miss them sooo much..
-mr.toopid hei.. alwayz "cold" me de.. last time alwayz go play bball with him.. but so long didnt see him liaoz.. xiang ta ooo.. kinda miss his toopid face.. =p
-issaccey.. ben ben.. alwayz sad sad.. dunno how is he liaoz.. kinda miss his voice too.. heex.. ni hai hao ma? sure alot gers le right.. heex.. =s
-matt.. moii son.. kinda drift apart le.. hmmm.. got ur jurongvile ger le.. dun wan mamie le lor.. heex.. kidding la.. only wish to see u smiling.. =)
-si.ho.sin .. alwayz dao me.. msg him always dun wan reply.. i dun wan msg u liaoz la.. save money better.. but hope ur life in sp now is getting on fine.. alwayz so many charbo.. -.-"
-zhu .. of course i miss him!! this guy.. sometimes treat me sooo heavenly well.. sometimes treat me like hell..! omg.. but i noe he still cares alot for me.. no matter wat.. juz dunno why.. i still and alwayz cherish him sooo much.. heex.. alwayz been a part of me.. >_<
last of all.. moii "dream guy"..
-[sly+jay] is the nick name i gave him.. the first time kanna "electric-shock" till so jialat.. first time realised and understand.. wat is the meaning of "dream.guy".. he's alwayz in moii mind.. and.. how i wish i can see him again..
though he got gf liaoz.. they still super damn lovely.. but.. juz wish to noe him better ba.. dun think can ba.. right? ='(

these days.. not feeling good ba.. nth's right.. everything seems sooo funny.. i truly felt guily.. but this is the only way to protect them.. dun wish to lose u guy's friendship.. but.. no matter wat i say.. its useless ba.. last year le.. after end of this year.. we all wont be able to see again le ba.. juz here to say.. qi never give up.. i dun wish to live in hatred too.. u all are alwayz moii friends.. i promises..

grace? saw her today.. kinda dunno wat to say.. haha.. we are in a different world now ba.. wat can i say? i miss the past.. miss her.. miss her care.. but bygones are bygones.. moii chicky is gone.. no way to get back again.. still wish to say.. grace wu xiu yun! qi hao xiang ni.. alwayz miss u.. *sobx sobx* =p

+ omg! soooo sad.. he's someone's guy le! +

2005-07-08T22:29:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. went batok today.. actually... main purpose is to go there see him de ba.. but end up didnt have a chance to see him again.. but get to noe his friends.. everyone came down.. except him.. den his friend say he go pei gf.. omg.. moii heart sank! got girl liaoz sia! sad sad de qi.. sooo sad.. moii dream came true.. i dreamt tt he got ger liaoz.. actually its a fact.. omg!! how can sia!! sobx.. but.. its kinda expected ba.. coz.. he's real cute and attractive! heex..
hmmm.. btw.. get to noe his name.. min liang.. heex.. =p happiiieee!!! ("v")

+.. nice day, nice form, nice court, nice peeps ..+

2005-07-05T22:54:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. went to westmall mac to study with s.h.i.t.. heex.. everyone were sooo guai.. heex.. finish all our homework for the weekend.. heex..
saw a few sleeveless tees from bossini.. 2 for $16.. woots! i wan to get it! heex.. get it for bball and sentosa.. heex.. looks coolx..
den meet ping around 3 pluz go batok play bball.. had a long way to 162 shelter court.. omg.. got guys ask for aileen's no. worx.. heex.. and the guy seems abit.. "weird".. haha.. den we went to blk 505 de half court.. woots! saw a quite tall guy.. around 180+ i think.. he look built.. and he looked like sylvester! omg.. looks cool.. and quite attractive.. heex.. injured me twice.. sobx.. but its ok la.. coz he qujite shuai ba.. heex.. though they say he not really tt yandaoz.. but he juz attracts moii attention ba.. heex.. moii ideal guy.. =p
had a nice dae today and made a friend.. she's called christina.. she's from the team "boon lay garden" worx.. and she know stackers.. omg.. haha.. not bad.. friendly and cute.. but.. sobx.. she seems sooo close with tt slyvester.. tot they were stead.. but think they soon will get together soon.. sobx sobx.. heex.. =p
den took bus 985 to cck and came back home.. omg.. tiring.. but fun.. coz i get to noe moii "ideal guy".. heex.. so i dun mind.. maybe going to batok quite often ba.. coz wan see tt guy ma.. heex.. but think.. dunno lehx.. =p *opps.. he's sooo cujte and shuai!*

+ u are a nice guy.. and i have faith in u +

2005-07-03T03:19:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. juz talked on phone with issacceyy.. heex.. hmmm.. love calling him his way.. it sounds cute.. u ar! sooo silly! if i'm with u now.. i will beat u! ben si le la.. why so silly.. made me feel so upset for u.. i'm sooo disappointed.. how can u do all those things to urself.. its not worth to do things for her anymore.. i know wadever i said might not be useful.. and.. ur feelings for her wont change much.. but.. i really dun wish to see u crying for her.. i dun wan to see u sad for her.. like wat u said.. i will give u time.. slowly get over her ya? i alwayz have faith in u de horx.. heex.. u ar.. really dunno how to say.. i tot i'm the foolishest girl in the world.. didnt know i have the sillyest guy around me too.. but.. i noe ur feelings.. coz i was once as silly as u too.. haiz.. tts why! cannot like this le horx! if not i will angry de! wo zhen de xi wang ni hui xiang xiang wo jiang de na yi xie hua..!
but frankly.. the way u treat ur ger.. really feel tt she's so fortunate.. compared to her.. she's more fortunate den me ba.. the guys i once loved.. hurt me soo much again and again.. hai.. get soo disappointed in love life.. haha.. but i wont let myself down de.. ok.. i did have the thinking of "wow.. if the guy i love is half like u.. i'm already very satisfied le.." but.. haha.. we cant compare all these things de ba.. if i'm her.. i wouldnt ever let u go le.. she's sooo lucky to have a guy to love her sooo much.. however.. she did not appreciate everything u did.. dun hurt urself le.. dun keep doing stuffs tt will hurt urself ya? wo xi wang ni hui kai xin de guo xia qu..
juz like wat u say.. u still have ur career.. i believe u made a good BOSS.. heex.. muz jiayou in ur work worx.. whenever think of her.. dun let ur emotions pull u down.. its a sure thing to miss her most of the times.. coz u had already get used to a life with her.. a life full of her.. its a kinda of "xi guan" ba.. slowly k.. i will wait for ur hao xiao xi de.. heex.. oh ya.. if ever need a listening ear.. as usual.. i'll be here ya? dun worry.. like wat u told me.. moii hp will also be by my side.. so no matter wat i'll also return ur miss call de.. heex.. ni yi ding yao strong horx.. yao jiayou ar!
opps.. see.. qi alwayz sooo good.. heex.. =p
lolipop.... *bleahx*

+ moii heart aches.. i'm juz another girl to u +

2005-07-03T01:30:00.000-07:00

hai.. saw something tt wasnt meant for me.. hmmm.. envy them sooo much.. they have such a special place in his heart.. but me.. juz another girl or a passer by ba.. nth much too.. right? haiz.. xin hao tong.. i also care alot for u.. i also miss u sooo much.. how i wish i can see u.. even if its juz a few mins.. hai.. juz dunno why ur smiles, ur voices, ur backview, keep appearing in moii mind.. occupying moii whole heart.. but i noe i'm not ur type of gers.. i wanted to forget u too.. moii heart will still aches.. means i still like u? i sooo useless.. ask issac to cheer up.. ask issac to smile.. but me? see little stuffs den like this.. wow kaoz.. sooo foolish! how i wish u were there for me too.. how i wish everytime moii msgtone rings, its from u.. but.. everytime.. the results disappoint me.. looking at u from a far corner.. being together is impossible.. u're like the stars in the sky.. u're alwayz there.. so bright so attractive.. but whenever i wanted to reach up to u and keep u by moii side.. u are juz sooo far from me.. so far so far.. ='(
saddening.. shangxindexiaoqi.. sobx sobx..

+ a world without love.. a qi without you.. +

2005-07-03T00:13:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. so long didnt blog le.. lazy to blog la.. heex.. =p hmmm.. still using n-gage now.. heex.. school reopen le.. tests coming.. heex.. alot topics still dunno.. muz really study up le.. but die le.. i still dun have the mood to study sia.. sianz.. this time really cham liaoz.. i dun wan go ite! sobx..
quite ok with moii life now.. dun wan like anyone liaoz la.. heex.. and dun wan to let moiiself fall for him deeper.. tts why seldom sms him nowadaes.. think he also very busy with his stuffs lor.. seeing him happily is moii happiness.. so whenever u're smiling, moii heart feels better ba.. heex.. hope u'll find ur happiness ya? i'm juz tired of love.. needa rest awhile la.. haha.. though i'd fallen for u since last year nov le.. but think its time for me to stop le.. heex.. dunno can make it anot la.. try lor.. wat to do? haha.. =)
and.. issac.. really dunno wat to say to u sometimes.. seeing u sooo sad and hurt by her.. my heart hurts worx.. coz last time de u really so cheerful and cute.. i wan the last time de issac! last time de issac better! u aren't a dead body living in this world.. its ur choice whether to be sad or happy.. i still memberx yang told me.. u cant stop urself from loving someone when u had already loved him/her.. but u can learn to let go slowly.. it really takes time ba.. it took me 7 months pluz to forget moii ex worx.. 7 months to really erase moii feelings for him.. i know its hard to be happy.. but u really can do it de.. i believe u! i trust u! someone told me.. "bad daes will go off soon".. i noe ur bad daes seems sooo long to u.. but.. u muz have faith in urself.. ur life havent put a fullstop.. dun disappoint me hao ma? show her tt u can still live happily without her.. show her tt u're still fine with ur life now.. jiayou jiayou jiayou! qi bu hui fang qi ni de.. ni ye bu ke yi fang qi zi ji.. zhi dao ma? ='(
and horx.. found moiiself 2 more bball mate and form a team call S.H.I.T.. s= shi pei.. h= hui qi.. i= aileen.. t= team.. heex.. nice right! heex.. yea!! they are cute too.. hmmm.. not bad not bad... bball is moii life.. love bball so much.. love the feeling of perspire.. heex.. love the feeling when moii balls went in the net.. love bball.. love bball.. juz love basketball soooo much! heex..
most imptly.. heex.. thx laoyang for ur consoling words.. thx for alwayz being there for me whenever i'm sad.. though u alwayz call me auntie.. heex.. but xie le.. =)
of course.. i also muz announce.. heex.. first time laoyang said.. : who say u are not presentable? u are quite pretty wat.. i say u pretty, good looking means good looking la.. i dun lie..
woots!! happiiee!! heex.. sooo rare!! heex.. thx ar.. though its juz CONSOLING words.. but it touchess moii heart.. heex.. =p i'll let go of him slowly.. juz give me some times ba.. heex.. i will be happie de!!

+ life as per normal.. nth much +

2005-06-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. lots of matches.. omg.. playing is not the matter.. its the traveling tt mades me feel tired.. alwayz take up 1hr to travel to the courts.. sob.. but happpiiee.. coz i juz changed phone with julie.. using n-gage now.. heex.. sooo excited.. =p hmmm.. quite bored.. school reopen liaoz.. going sch later.. i cannot slp! heex.. muz study hard liaoz.. dunno can catch up anot sia.. omg.. try la.. =p

+ juz luv moii piggy soooo much.. muackx +

2005-06-24T01:13:00.000-07:00

hmm.. went town with hei today.. pei him go ps for interview den go walk walk lor.. omg.. he treat me ice-cream say wan replace for the water he own me.. how can!! i love water more den ice-cream! heex.. hmmm.. den we walk all the way to lido.. dun mistaken.. not watch movie, its go eat long john only.. coz he wan eat.. haha.. omg!! den we took bus home le lorx.. i was sooo tired.. oh ya.. he ar.. half day keep looking at cars and "charbos".. omg.. maybe i suay lor.. dun have any guys tt attract moii attention on street ba.. eeee.. bluff de.. who say town got more shuai ges.. eeee.. pian wo!!
den after tt go home sleep till hei called me.. "u're not suspose to sleep!".. omg.. i'm sorry hei.. heex.. sleep awhile only la.. heex.. den went ytp around 8.. matt sooo guai.. he was already there when i reach.. heex.. good boi.. and.. sorry ah yang.. not purposly de.. hope u and ur ger didnt quarrel worx.. if not i will nei jiu de.. sobx sobx.. den after tt yang and matt go moii house de playground tok tok.. said quite some stuffs ba.. and heard from hei he's going a ger's house to ton.. good lor.. dun anyhow anyhow horx.. actually also expected.. coz his house really nth to do ba.. good wat..go tok and sleep with other gers.. heex.. *bleahx*
den i went home.. still kanna scolded by moii mummy.. sorry mummy.. i really dun mean to make u angry.. no matter how angry i am with u.. no matter wat kind of f-king attitude i give u.. i still loves u sooo much.. plz remember hao ma? mummy.. ='(
hmmm.. den call moii piggy.. at first quite dulan with him.. actually me and piggy quite good friends ba.. he said.. "we only friends wat.. friends cannot alwayz tok on phone everynight.. sure nth to say de.. somemore i got moi own stuffs to do" omg.. i noe i noe.. hmm.. abit sad la.. but was ok after awhile.. heex.. den we sort of tou zhui.. den he said.. "if u not happy u can hang the phone".. wow lau.. i was damn dulan.. den i told him.. "u really wan me to hang the phone izzit.." den he told me.. "wo kan qi lai xiang ge hen ying de shi tou.. dan shi dang ni zuo xia qu shi, wo jiu bian le.." hahaha.. sooo touching.. although moii piggy alwayz express his care for me very differently.. but.. really appreicate him soo much.. i told him how i felt and express to him.. wanted to tell him tt i truly cherish him alot.. den he also guai guai listen lor.. after tt he's kinda shy ba.. den told me.. "wow.. today sure got dreams wan.." haha.. hmmm.. zhu.. if ever u see this post.. i wan tell u.. wo zhen de hen zhen xi wo men de you yi.. xi wang ni bu yao zai xiang shang ci na yang bu yi er fei, li wo er qu.. ni shi wo xu hui qi yi bei zhi de zhu.. mei you ren ke yi qu dai ni "zhu" de wei zhi.. understand? =) den moii toopid zhu.. keep begging me ask me let him sleep.. sooo cute.. keep saying.. "qiu qiu ni la.. rang wo shui jiao la.. wo zhen de hen lei.. plz la plz la.." hahaha.. see he soo ke lian.. den let him sleep lor.. hee.. hmmm.. moii zhu is the cutest.. lub u alwayz.. *muackx*
no more hai gui de qi still can stay sooo happiiee ar.. why should i be sad over him? i admit he's once sooo impt to me.. he made me feel sooo secured.. he made me sooo tt i'm the happiest girl in the world.. but its a different story now.. he met up with new friends.. get along with new girls.. starting with a new life.. why should i still bother to think abt him? haha.. i still tot can go out with u sometimes.. go play pool.. go watch movie.. sometimes tok on phone.. tok xin shi.. aiya.. wadever.. all these wont come true de.. its u who neglected our friendship.. its u who dun wan our you yi de.. since this is wat u wan.. den wat can i say? no matter how hard i tried to get back our friendship.. its still get backs to zero ba.. i can only say.. i am happiiee.. happiiee enough to cover all the sadness u gave me.. alot peeps still by moii side.. like.. zhu, hei, matt, lao yang, pipi, p.c ak ah beng, .. lots and lots.. they care alot for me.. they brought me happiness.. load of smiles.. i'm satisfied.. though i'll still tot of u at times.. but.. those times are the only times when moii heart aches..

+ moii matt`boi.. tis is a post juz 4 u.. +

2005-06-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

juz went to moii mattboi de blog.. long time didnt go le.. i admit.. maybe i neglected his feelings in the past ba.. i browse through his posts all over again.. i feel so guilty and hurt.. matt.. i'm sorry.. u really care so much for me last time.. hmm.. i noe u wish to go back to the past.. how i wish we could too.. sooo sweet and caring de boiboi.. its hard to find another le.. but somehow.. i hurt u too much le ya? i even made u cried for me again and again.. though alot ppl told me.. dun look back to the past.. move ahead.. but u're one of the very few tt i wish to look back for.. matt.. thx for every little thing u ever did for mamie ya? opps.. mamie got [xin suan de gan jue] .. dui bu qi.. wo bu shi gu yi shang hai ni de.. hmm.. hope u'll go back to blog again ya? mamie`qi miss matt`boii too.. jiayou worx.. this phrase is alwayz meant for u.. "no matter wat happen.. mamie will alwayz be with u and be by ur side".. put it in ur mind alwayz.. *hugzz* last but not least.. i'm sorry.. ='(

+ happiiee bird-day long.. +

2005-06-22T00:06:00.000-07:00

hmm. today is long's birthday.. went south view to celebrate for him ba. and also tt toopid hei say wan go south view with his friends. so everything's juz nice lor. heex. only started playing bball late evening around 8 pluz? played with hei and his friends.. and a bunch of 223 pros -zhiyong they all lor-.. hmmm. not bad la. thy say i very zun.. -.-" sooo lame. if i'm tt good, gaolao wont scold me till like tt liaoz. haha. hmm. den took cab home with ping. its her treat as she won 23 dollars on majong! omg!! life still goes on like tt.. nth special happened ba. though i already had a guy in mind. but actually i know.. we are really impossible. and sort of get info from him tt we are not possible too. heex. maybe looking at u from far is a good thing ba? i wont ever let u noe moii feelings towards u. coz i dun wan to lose someone impt to me again. losing someone ever so impt once is enough. coz now de me, i had lost moii "ex.hai.gui" le.. juz dun wish to lose anyone now.. *xin tong de wu fa hu xi*.. ='(

+ hmm. went marine parade cc today +

2005-06-20T00:38:00.000-07:00

weets! went marine parade cc with liang and luke? a new friend. he's crappy, he's lame, he's funny, and he quite shuai too ba. haha. quite fun to hang out with both of them. played bball worx! heex. hope can go out with them more often next time worx. hmm. den matt send me home, we tok tok under moii house there. mostly tok abt "him".. heex. wondering wat he's doing now... hee. miss ya worx. =p

+ hai. i'm sorry i disappoint u all +

2005-06-19T01:17:00.000-07:00

today stackers vs xiao long at 438. mummy and daddy came to watch me play.. but in the end i didnt have a chance to go on court. this is the 3rd time they came and see me sitting on bench for the whole game le. so disappointed. why? i said i'll prove to u i can do it de! but u didnt even give me a chance to go on court. i'm really so down and sad. gaolao, is this wat u wan? hai. mum and dad. dui bu qi. maybe ur daughter juz cant let u see how she played on court ba. really sorry. i promise next time if u all come see again. i'll go on court and do moii best shot to let u all see. mum and dad, trust me ok?
msg him but he replied "wat can i do?".. omg! heart sank.. quite sad sia. but its ok la. ya lor.. wat can u do sia? its moii fault ar. i noe these days i keep msging u, u may feel fustrated ba? sorry.. wo bu shi gu yi de. hai.. ='(

+ thx.. u cheered me up +

2005-06-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

went ytp played bball today.. met up with huachi moii pri sch friend.. saw hei and his buch of friends.. not forgetting matt and yangx.. after tt ping and xing came.. hmmm.. quite sad today.. coz didnt do well for moii game.. didnt shoot well.. played so badly.. and sort of give attitude.. i'm sorry peeps.. esp to hei's tt friend (dunno wat name) haha.. sorry to elbow u.. not purposly.. but i guess hei had already help me apologize to u le ba.. heex.. and.. quite surprised tt hei msg me.. some quite sweet.. heex.. save it in moii hp.. things like.. *u shot well todae. dun sad k. u sad i sad too. dn be sad. cheer up. i feel v useless. still wan trainin? learn to pull back ur ball. i.e stop and go when u wan. teach u nxtime. =) dn ha to noe everything de. no one is perfect. v few.* hmmm.. thx! u are not useless worx.. u really did cheered me up.. and.. thx so much.. heex.. so glad to receive a msg of u.. heex.. xie xie ni de guan xin.. i'm ok le.. smiley!! =p

+ i'm sorry.. i know i'm lousy.. but it hurts +

2005-06-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

played badly for moii aljunied match today.. lost 26 points.. laolao say its moii fault.. he said i deprove more and more.. last time i still not a bad player.. but this time prove to him tt i'm so lousy and shit.. he said lots of words which hurt moii heart.. why are u so cruel to me? hai.. i noe i'm lousy.. but ur words breaks moii heart into a million pieces.. i respect u sooo much.. ur encouragement means alot to me.. but u shoot me again and again.. made me feel tt i'm so useless and worthless.. i cried so many times.. though its useless to cry.. and useless to cry for u.. but no matter wat.. u are still moii coach.. someone i respect and love alot alot.. youth cup at night.. so sad tt i'm the last one to rotate out for the game.. everyone went down for the game leaving me in moii warm up tee.. first time to be the last to go in for the game.. hai.. but wat can i say? to him.. i'm already useless.. no one can change ur thinking ba.. am i right.. gaolao? hai.. but.. thx hei.. ur encouragement cheered me up.. very touched by ur msgs.. heex.. xie xie ni.. ( hei: scold him la. ask him if u really no use den y ask u play? dn let him keep scolding u like tt, will go nuts one. nvm. play more learn more. jiayou ) ( hei: den show him u can do it! i give u private training. haha ) .. hmm! u say de ar! give me training ar.. looking forward for tt.. but muz train me till i good good de horx.. heex.. but u so busy.. where got time.. haha.. anyway.. thx for everything.. u add colours to moii life.. most imptly.. thx for being by moii side when i need someone to hear me out.. lub u lots! thx prawnny! =p

+ thx moii friends +

2005-06-15T06:48:00.000-07:00

very sad juz now.. but loads of ppl cheered me up.. juz now sit beside the pool below my house.. looking up into the sky.. hai.. thinking of him.. thinking why should he give me this kind of attitude? very disappointed and dishearten.. but.. thx yang, thx pipi, thx hei.. u said tml meet me de ar.. dun fly my aeroplane worx.. haha.. but u so busy.. wont meet me also de la.. and most imptly.. very surprised.. p.c is such a sweet and nice friend.. very caring.. he came to ask me wat happened.. and consoled me.. he even ask me whether wanna come out and tok to me.. sooo surprised.. didnt know he's such a good guy.. haha.. thx so much! i'm so touched.. zhen de hen kai xin.. u made me realised its useless to miss him.. useless to love him.. ytp peeps rawks! especially u, toopid ah beng! heex.. =p qi hen kai xin ke yi ren shi ni..

+ i believe in u.. +

2005-06-14T20:04:00.000-07:00

got a little "thing" for mr hei.. went shopping and saw this "thing".. den his face came across moii mind.. find it suitable for him.. wanted give it to him.. but.. dunno he like anot sia.. maybe he'll find me very stupid lo.. give him a useless thing.. dunno for wat.. but hope tt "thing" can let u realised ur weak points and improve on them.. and of course i alway believe in u.. so.. have more confidence in urself.. and... muz be patient.. i believe u will find someone whom u cant live without soon.. its juz a matter of time ma.. dun worry ok.. hope u will stay happiie with ur gf.. (of course muz be chiobu).. hahaha.. coz he only like pretty girls! =p takkiiee carriiee boyz!

+ so shocked.. but worried +

2005-06-14T11:15:00.000-07:00

quite surprised tt w.h msg me.. "lonely.. i'm so lonely.. =( " at first tot its pipi who msg me.. den i wrote.. "haha.. wow.. u like tt song ar? i also like it alot lehx! =p" when sending the msg.. den i realised its u .. haha.. so funny lor.. den u replied.. " *vomit blood* ".. omg! sorry la.. i not purposly de ma.. sobx sobx.. i replied u but u din reply.. wow.. keep looking at moii hp.. tot wat happened to u.. tot u angry or wat.. somemore keep sending msg fail.. but fortunately.. after a while u replied back.. " i was brushing moii teeth juz now.. sry.. " omg! *ah bish* brushing teeth!! scare me! u ar! next time dun sms ppl half way den go brush teeth ok.. later ppl will worried till siao de lor.. humph! but.. glad tt u msg me when u are bored.. maybe moii reply disappoint u.. coz others will send u back like "are u ok? dun feel lonely.. cheer up ya? take good care of urself.. nitex.. hugs.." but i sent u those rubbish msgs which made u vomit blood.. heex.. dui bu qi la.. hmmm.. hope u'll still msg me next time when u are lonely ok? =p *winkx*

+ omg..sooo shocked +

2005-06-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

wow.. so shocked to see his blog de sms corner.. though he got alot ger's de sms.. especially ros? and.. juan? haha.. all gers la.. but also got me.. heex.. simple simple msgs from me he also put in.. heex.. like.. "hei.. i played majong and lost $30 today.. sobx sobx.. ='( " .. haha.. sooo nice and cute of him.. heex.. hmmm.. sooo happiiee to see moii sms in his corner.. at least he appreciate ma.. heex.. hmmm.. hei hei hei.. dun feel so low confidence of urself ok? no matter wat.. u are great! hmmm okok.. i promise.. " i.. huiqi.. will alwayz be there for mr.hei when he needs me.. so.. juz give me a msg or call.. 24 hrs on de.. dunch worry.." =p takkiiee carriiee.. lub u lots..

+ new life of me +

2005-06-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

getting well with moii life now.. quite busy and fun.. loads of matches.. and schooling too.. but not forgetting moii bball friends and majong kakis.. heex.. fun fun and fun.. hmmm.. no one in mind is really so great.. loving someone is not easy.. thus need to suffer alot.. hmmm.. last time de me too silly le.. why would i choose to love u? haha.. now i'm single and packed with lots of things in life.. i wont feel the pain so deeply.. though sometimes may still thought of u.. but.. somehow i know.. we are really not meant for each other.. neither good friends nor lovers.. but sort of glad tt piggy came back in moii life.. he came back and u go.. -.-" hmmm.. getting piggy back is a miracle.. but losing u juz like this is such a disappointment.. maybe losing me seems nth to u.. ya.. i know i know.. but.. it still matters to me ba.. okok.. wadever~ haha.. oh ya.. so shock to see moii msg in w.h's blog.. omg! heex.. happiie of course.. and unexpected.. coz didnt know he care for moii msg.. haha.. he also knock on moii head ytd.. hmmm.. felt warmth.. heex.. =p not forgetting tt he lose to me in "ABC".. so now he own me his pic and a drink! heex.. toopid u.. memberx return the things u own me horx! bleahx.. xp

+.. finally ended.. stoped everything ..+

2005-05-27T01:51:00.000-07:00

finally.. finally made a real decision.. feel so relief.. very stress loving u.. basically.. its not easy to love someone.. coz the pressure, pain, tears are much much more den the happiness.. jas told me.. "happiness wont last".. ya lor.. maybe ba.. moii happiness really didnt last long.. but.. i finally decided to give up on u le.. this time its true! coz.. i'm very tired loving u.. missing u.. and waiting for u.. hmmm.. although i'm juz yi xiang qing yuan.. but frankly.. all along i never forgets u.. every min every sec thinking of u.. thinking how are u.. thinking how have u been.. wanted hear ur voice and see ur toopid face sooo badly too.. find myself sooo silly.. haha.. also juz get to realise.. actually.. wo bu kai xin.. during the time when i'm in love with u.. i'm not happy.. dunno why too.. coz maybe thinking of u breaks moii heart ba.. actually.. the thing tt hurts is not tt u dun love me like how i love u.. the thing tt hurts me through out is tt.. we have drifted apart.. not as close le! really drifted till so far so far.. u told me before.. "i wont be like piggy left u alone" isnt this wat u told me? yes.. i'm sad.. i'm hurt.. but i'm more dis-hearten.. however! from today onwards! i wan to smilex! i wan to be happiiee~ coz.. i had decided to give up on u! though we may not be like the past anymore.. may not be as close le.. but.. i believe.. i'll be happy! i'll smilex as brightly as i could.. so tt the ones who care for me and cherish me wont get worried.. thx pals.. although i may had lost someone impt in moii life.. but.. i'm happy to have u all's suppot and advices.. love u all lots! last but not least.. hope u'll enjoy ur poly life in sp.. takkiiee carriiee moii ex haii gui.. if ever u are down or sad.. i'm juz a phone call away.. moii hp will be 24 hrs on de.. so.. dunch worry.. but i know u got alot gers to call la.. no need call me.. =) [i had put a fullstop to our story.. its the end..]

+.. wow.. felt so shit by u! ..+

2005-05-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

sort of disappointed in "936" ba.. tot we could stay as good friends de.. good friends are good enough le.. i dun believe we cant click to be good good friends.. why sia! why didnt keep ur promises to me? i trust u sooo much yet ur empty promises broke moii heartz! i dun like u! u are not the past good friend i know le! wo dui ni hao shi wang.. wo bu zai yo ni le! yong yuan dou bu hui zai yao le!!!! tao yan ni!

+.. i'll be there for u whenever u feel lonely ..+

2005-05-25T15:14:00.000-07:00

maybe u duno tt i'm alwayz looking at u from far.. ur happiness.. ur sadness.. ur laughters, ur lame-ness.. everything and everything.. since very long ago.. think should be last year nov ba? first time i saw u.. was sort of attracted by ur toopid smilez.. last year nov worx..not short lehx.. haha.. wanted to get ur no. from u de.. but didnt.. coz dun dare la! but now.. got ur no. and had already made u a friend of mine.. great! sometimes go out with u, sms u.. felt happiiee.. truly happy tt we can be able to be this good.. no need to go on any further.. i wont ask for much.. juz like this is enough.. staying by ur side with u.. i'm satisfied.. =)
("v") no.13.. -u & me- [impossible.us]

+.. a final decision i made ..+

2005-05-22T11:06:00.000-07:00

everyone told me to give up on u.. everyone told me to let go.. they says we are impossible.. they say luv-ing u only breaks moii heartz again and again.. maybe ba.. ya i should really listen to them.. thx ping, thx zhu, thx yi, thx gwen jie.. u all made me realised lots of things.. and of course.. stackers! stackers give me the feeling of "family" again.. our teamwork, our laugters, worries, and closeness.. told me to cherish each and everyone of u.. thx moii dears~ specially to julie, na, pat (gf), sookping, and loads more.. our crazyness is truly infinity.. heex~ yi told me.. "dun coz of one tree den leave the whole forest.. there's many other guys out there who will cherish me more den him.." but wat if i only wan him? ping told me.. "dun chersh those who will not cherish u in return.. cherishing them too much will only hurt u in return.." den wat if i only wish to cherish him without him knowing? zhu told me.. "dun be silly.. since u'd tried but he still dun likes u.. den give up.." wat if i juz cant get rid him off moii mind? jie told me.. "its good to know the truth and reality.. at least u got an ans.. so tt u can juz give up in peace.." but.. the reality truly hurts..... after all.. i still told moiiself.. i will alwayx be there for u whenever u need a helping hand or an listening ear.. i wont let u feel alone.. but now den i realise.. maybe... u had already found the one u love, the one u miss, the one u care, and the one u need.. even if no.. u also have lots of gers to take care of u.. so moii worry for u are all not needed.. thuz.. conclusion.. i will let go.. i will give up.. this is moii final decision.. i will continue to wait for moii prince.. i believe he's looking for me too.. and i'll wait for him.. however.. hope to see u happy and happy alwayz.. ur smile is alwayz imprinted deeply in a corner of moii heartz forever.. thx for the chapter u had created in moii life story.. u did made a tulmuluous impact in me.. which made me feel tt.. "i should let u go".. although its impossible to forget u now.. but like wat u say.. slowly i will forget u.. i hope i will and i hope i can.. trust me ya? and.. moii friends.. i will be independent.. i will stay strong.. and soon u all will get to see a 100% happiiee qiqi le! =p no more *wu gui dao* no more *wu gui* no more *hai gui* no more *wu gui warrior* everything gets back to the starting line.. takkiee cariiee alwayz.. [heartz.brokenz]

+.. did i made a wrong choice? ..+

2005-05-20T21:28:00.000-07:00

wo zuo cuo le ma? wo bu ying gai xi huan ta ma? wei shen me? wei shen me xin hui tong? wei shen me wo hui jue de zi ji xiang ge "fool"? wo tao yan zhe zhong gan jue.. wo bu xi huan bei ren "reject".. suan le.. this is wat life are for ba? ups and downs are alwaysx soo unpredictable~ ='(

+.. so surprised to see u tagging in my blog again ..+

2005-05-18T04:14:00.000-07:00

went play bball with wh and matt.. coz too boring den go lor.. he seems to lack some confidence in his lay up worx.. heyx.. thks for ur encouragment on court worx.. heex.. feel more comfortable when i heard ur encouragment.. haha.. at least wont so stress worx.. =) had a good day ytd night.. but.. there's one thing which had been bothering me since a few days ago.. haiz.. one fact.. we had really drifted apart.. really sooo far le.. we dun seems to be as close le.. i did ask myself.. "do i mind? do i mind a life without his sms and calls?".. "no.. i dun!", i told myself tt.. but.. its a fact tt i keep missing him.. haha.. i feel sooo foolish.. ppl dun even care abt me.. dun even give a damn to me.. for wat i keep pestering him sia.. for wat i keep looking at moii hp and wait for his sms? wow.. xu hui qi! ni zhen de hen ben!! sooo stupid!! wake up la.. ppl dun wan u liaoz.. ppl hack care u.. for wat u mind so much sia? u all only friends wat! xu hui qi! plz get it clear! u all are only friends!!!! understand? dun be so silly le!....... ya! i know! i know we are only friends! and i dun dare to hope for anything further den tt.. but..... wo de xin hao tong.. we are like last time de piggy and me.. so far... so far.. haiz.. juz hope to know tt u are happy presently.. and i will wish tt u can stay happy always.. forever and ever.. take care of urself ok? *96.424.744.64.33.98.484.62?* ='(

+.. wo men you chao jia le ..+ ='(

2005-05-16T16:45:00.000-07:00

quarrelled with him again.. haiz.. why always quarrel de sia.. so sianx.. somehow felt hurt by wat he say.. maybe i sensitive or wat lor.. but.. so wat if i'm fantaize? so wat if i'm juz acting clever? if i dun bother.. i wont msg u le.. haiz.. i felt the pain deep inside me when i saw ur msg early in the morning.. made me feel so down the whole day.. with moii stupid irritating cum disappointing results.. i promise i will put in effort in moii studies and get the best out of it.. everything seems to change le.. its already 4.41pm.. i also dun think u are still sleeping ba.. i know u saw moii msg.. but.. i think u dunno wat to reply again.. maybe i may sound so "shit" in moi msg.. i'm sorry.. but.. juz wanna say.. i will feel hurt too.. i dunno whether u will see moii blog ever again.. but.. to me.. u'll always be someone special.. somenoe who did made impact in moii life.. since u dun care le.. den i wont disturb u le.. hope u'll take care of urself ba.. best wishes..

+.. wo de xin hao tong.. yin wei wo men zhi shi peng you ba ..+

2005-05-14T22:57:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. ytd i had a terribily "painful night".. cant get to sleep.. haiz.. xin hao tong.. i know we are only friends.. me and him only can stay as friends.. i know we are impossible.. i told moii jie abt it.. she find me so silly.. why i dun tell tt guy tt i like him? but.. so wat if u tell him? he wont like me de ar.. and in the end i'll only get hurt again.. den she say, "if u dun wan get hurt.. den give up on him.. if u think tt he wont like u.. den wat for like him? there are others guys who'll definately cherish u more than him".. haiz.. after hearing her advices.. moi heart sank.. there's nth more in moi mind.. except those 4 words.. "should i tell him?" haiz.. ytd struggle till 4 plus den sleep.. lying on moii bed tossing around.. also dunno doing wat.. tossed for around 1 hr plus.. haha.. so lame de me right.. hmmm.. since its tt case.. i will stop moiiself from liking u.. in order not to let u feel troubled and not to get moiiself in pain again.. but still wanna say.. i'll always be by ur side when u need me.. coz i'm ur "942698481" forever.. miss u alwaysx.. ='(

+ wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni.. shi ying wei wo tai ai ni +

2005-05-02T06:03:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. ben ben de xiao qi.. wei shen me ni zhe me ben? bu yao bu kai xin le hao ma? yao jian qiang yi dian worx.. ni yi ding ke yi de.. tian tian shang xin de ni hao bu ke ai~ kan qi lai yi dian ye bu kai xin.. qi! ni yi ding ke yi de! ying wei qiqi hen "strong".. ta yi ding ke yi guo zhe kai kai xin xin de ri zi.. jiayou qi! hui.qi support ni!! =p

+ we are not meant to be.. i will let go +

2005-05-01T09:50:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. today is a damn bad day sia.. alot alot toopid things happened.. hmmm.. wanted say sorry to ping, tehteh, houzi.. coz.. pms them.. den feel like being alone.. den didnt go with them.. sorry.. i really not in good mood since early in the morning.. hope u all wont get angry.. hmm.. and.. he changed his nick.. "write for fun" de.. haha.. orhx.. wat can i say sia? we are only friends wat.. i'm not in any position to say anything.. aiya.. wadeva la.. juz feel so shit.. maybe.. dun call me dear le la.. it sound so fake..
whether u got gf anot.. got a ger u like anot.. i should listen to jeff.. let go..

- wow!! damn angry! i will jiayou de! -

2005-04-26T22:36:00.000-07:00

wow.. my parents wan cancel moi line sia! angry! they changed moi plan to 500 free sms and incoming call whole day.. wow.. if 3 months still over their budget.. they'll cancel moi line! wow!! angryyyy sia!! but nvm!! i will jiayou de!! wo bu hui fang qi!! humph!! but think i cant keep sms le.. cant sms him le.. hahaha.. hmmm.. dunno lehx.. dun wan like ppl le la! so gan ku~ wow lau.. bth~

sadd.ie. qiiqii .. <3

- i will try moi best to give up - ='(

2005-04-26T15:10:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. at last i realised i like a guy.. but.. he like another ger le.. i know its impossible for me and him to get together.. all these while.. i shouldnt let myself like him.. love is like a mystery.. it comes and goes.. i know u like her.. and i'll try to give up on u.. coz i dun wanna get myself hurt any deeper.. u may not know who u are.. but.. juz wish to say.. anyone who seen this blog of mine, be moi witness.. "i'll always be there for u whenever u need someone to lean on.. i wont give up a friend like u.. and i promise u.. u'll always have my attention".. for now.. i only wish tt we can get better and better each day.. although u wont like me.. but.. somehow i still wish to be by ur side.. supporting u.. missing u always.. [giving.up.in.progress] ='(

heart.broken.qi.. <3

+ everything changes le ba.. +

2005-04-15T16:21:00.000-07:00

hmmm.. long time no blog le.. juz to updates.. haha.. hmmm.. me and my ex-piggy.. still the same.. not vey good.. juz very very normal friends.. maybe ever stranger den normal friends ba.. miss the past alot too.. when he always tease me and say i "chu power".. haha.. but its bygones le ya? and.. my hai gui? haha.. dunno lehx.. maybe [wu gui grouppee] already disband le ba? i also dunno lehx.. very confused now.. haha.. hmmm.. maybe i can only say.. miss u lots too.. i will always look up upon the sky and pray tt u'll be smiling happily every night.. really.. xi wang ni nen gou kai kai xin xin de worx.. heex.. jiayou!! hope we'll be back as close as last time again too! *juz hope la* hahaha.. oh ya.. hmmm.. 3 guys whom i "once" love most deeply de la.. haha.. remember ooo! once worx! now no more le la.. heex.. i saw them 3 on the same day and at the same place.. omg.. soooo funny right.. 1st~ omg.. i saw x-h.. so long didnt see him le.. den suddenly see him tt day.. playing bball.. come tok to me and disturb me too.. haha.. think tt is the second time i tok to him face to face ba.. feel so weird.. but now.. find him quite lame and funny too.. and bu xiao xin scratch him on his arm.. hey! hope ur scar ok le worx.. haha.. hmmm.. 2nd guy~ jeff! haha.. he came play bball with us too.. its like.. so long didnt see him le lor! haha.. den tt day can see him.. can play bball with him too.. oh ya.. me and him getting better le.. at least now i feel very happy.. coz we quite good good friends now.. heex.. not like last time.. so cold! haha.. hmmm.. and 3rd guy~ my ex.. saw him there after a big rain.. dunno why he suddenly come la.. heex.. but hen jiu mei you kan dao ta le.. suddenly see him.. abit strange.. but.. haha.. think he's very find now.. tts a good thing right? heex.. ok la.. strange events finish.. next time den upload again.. hmmm.. gtg le.. see u guys next time! buaiz!! =p

+ thks dear.. feel so touched.. +

2005-03-28T13:42:00.000-08:00

wow.. surprised sia.. my hai gui told me he changed his profile.. and some parts are meant for me.. feel so touched.. he's the second person to write me in friendster profile le.. xie xie ni.. zhen de hao kai xin.. somemore he so silly.. still try to make a drawing of wu gui in his friendster.. so funny lor.. heex.. he said he spent 40 mins doing so.. hmmm.. zhen de hen zhen xi.. xie xie ni.. heex.. i really appreciate with all my heart.. thks for ur care and accompany.. toopid hai gui.. u having school soon.. tml u going for the course le.. muz take care k.. and muz jiayou.. after u go school, sure dun have much time for me de.. but.. hope ur dreams will come true and be a pilot.. heex.. jiayou jiayou jiayou.. xiao wu gui miss xiao hai gui..

+ no more piggy de wo +

2005-03-24T20:34:00.000-08:00

[25.03.05] .. i dun have piggy le.. haha.. wooo~ tt phrase made me understand lots of questions! "dun think too much.. we are juz friends.. hope u understand" hmmm.. ya.. maybe we are really juz friends ba.. i think too much le ba.. too silly in the past.. but no matter wat.. still wan to thks u.. thks ur care and concern for the past few months.. thks for calling me almost every night even u are in the army.. thks for all ur support and encouragements all along.. really thks.. feel happy to have u once in my story.. u left a beautiful chapter in it.. and i'm already very satisfied le.. xie xie ni.. all the best ya? and memberx to take good care of urself.. be a real policeman ar! zai zai.. jiayou ba.. =)

+.. happy and sad things ..+

2005-03-20T10:53:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. long time no blog le.. u all sure miss me ba? heex.. these days lots of events happening in my life.. heex.. happy and sad de ba.. haha.. firstly.. get to know a guy.. he's sweet.. very good in talking.. caring.. friendly.. lame.. and funny.. haha.. always tok on phone with him.. cute guy ba.. somehow.. we were getting closer and closer each day.. but.. he's quite popular among his friends.. especially girls.. haha.. ooo~~ insecure~ hahaha.. i also dunno how i felt for him.. maybe friends? or wat? i also dunno lehx.. secondly.. mi and piggy not tt close liaoz.. haha.. he didnt called me for 2 days le.. but i know he went to his secondary sch de camp.. help out and play ba.. haha.. good worx.. maybe he's busy these few days? heex.. overall.. hope he's fine jiu ke yi le.. heex.. hmm.. thirdly.. ping~ my bestest butt-dy.. haha.. going sentosa with her next friday.. omg.. again~ coz i juz went sentosa last friday.. sunburnt.. pain~ heex.. hmmm.. she sooo good.. say wan lean me her shoulders.. coz these days quite sad ba.. den i say.. "ok lor.. i wan sleep on ur shoulders".. den she say i can sleep on her legs.. hahaha.. sooo good right.. actually also feel very touched by her.. although maybe end up didnt even can lie on her shoulders.. haha.. still feel so happy and "warmth" to hear those words from her.. haha.. last but not least.. ytd quite sad.. coz "someone" mistaken me.. he know me so long.. yet still say i'm someone tt go for looks.. haiz.. hao shang xin.. dunno why will feel hurtx by it.. maybe he's someone close to me.. very good to me.. yet mistaken me ba.. haha.. but nvm la.. its ok.. ok la.. end here le.. next time got things den write again.. heex.. buaiz buaiz.. =p

2005-03-11T07:04:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. tot piggy wouldnt msg or call me le.. coz wed he didnt call or sms me ma.. den tues sort of got a bit quarrel with him.. haha.. but he still called me on thurs.. he ask me why i didnt call him on wed.. still say he always auto call me.. i didnt auto call him.. he sad.. hahaha.. hmmm.. i dun wan disturb u ma.. scare u doing lots of things.. only when u call me.. means u are free le ar.. and~ yesterday his friends bully me.. he always mix with them and bully me together! so angry! den i sad.. he say he wont let them bully me liaoz.. will help me bit bit them.. den sayangx me.. -.-" heex.. =p den ask me to zhi dong.. haha.. he seems weird.. coz last time de him wont like tt de ba.. hahaha..
and!! most imptly~ i juz went to see my son's blog.. i'm sorry.. i seems to be the main reason of ur lonliness and sadness.. really duno wat to say.. but i'm someone who dunno how to express things out de ba.. coz.. my care isnt obvious.. but.. i always wish to emphasis tt u are impt to me.. and i do always care.. haiyoyo.. once again.. i'm really sorry.. hmmm.. going sch le.. last day of sch.. and left one more day le~ excited~ heex.. =p

+ i'm sorry my son.. +

2005-02-27T22:31:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. juz finish browsing my son's blog.. feel sad and guily worx.. very surprised to see me in almost all his posts.. happy ba.. but sad.. coz can sense tt he's so sad abt things of me.. dui bu qi matt.. i didnt know i made u so sad.. really didnt know.. i promise.. i'l cherish u de worx.. will cherish u as my son always.. once my son always my son.. and of course.. i'll always be ur mamie too.. jiayou.. smile always!! =p

+ hmmm.. sad sad me.. hao ke lianx.. +

2005-02-12T23:17:00.000-08:00

piggy so bad de.. always dun reply my msgs.. why like tt.. humph! super bad! hai wo yi zhi den ni de msgs.. u seems so busy these days.. haiz.. wan tok to u also cannot.. miss u also cannot.. DL u la! humph!! made me keep looking at my hp today see whether got msgs from u.. still exchange hp with my friend juz in case u msg or call me! (coz my hp low batt liaoz) haiz.. why i treat him so good so special.. huiqi so stupid!! humph humph humph!!! *angry with piggy*!!

("v") den dai ai de dao lai.. [w ai t. in g 4 ."u"]

2005-02-11T23:56:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. long time didnt have the feeling of love le worx.. ever since i broke off with him [03.07.04].. didnt really fall in love with anyone le.. tt "him" muz feel honoured horx.. he's the last person i ever loved so much till now worx.. heex.. haiyoyo.. wo de bai ma wang zi zai na li ne? haha.. but no matter wat.. i'll wait for him.. wait for him patiently.. looking forward for my "prince charming".. heex.. *muackx*

[T-T] sobx sobx.. drifting apart.. ='(

2005-02-11T23:51:00.000-08:00

haiz.. everyone asking.. "who is ur nick for? wat happen to ur nick?" haiz.. i also dunno lehx.. wat happen to me worx? hmmmm.. not very sad ba.. but.. keep missing him.. missing my piggy.. since he went in police academy.. we not tt close le.. but still got keep in contact.. but these days.. we seems abit bit cold ba.. maybe i think too much.. but.. this is just how i feel ar.. we sometimes seems like got nth to talk de.. sad sad.. really dunno.. hmmm.. ppl ask.. "u like him ar?" haha.. like him? i also dunno.. but one thing i know for sure.. [wo men shi bu ke nen de.. yong yuan dou bu ke nen de!].. hope u know how to take good care of urself.. my piggy..

+.. someone i wanna thks so much so much ..+

2005-02-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. really really wan thks someone so much.. he's always there for me whenever i need him.. always do lots of things for me silently.. i really felt so so so guily to make him sad each and every time.. hmmm.. really really sorry.. i'm sorry.. but juz wanna tell u.. u are really impt to me.. every little thing u ever did for me.. i really appreciate alot alot.. thank you.. thank you so much.. feel so happy to have u in my story.. [6288439]

+ things happening these days.. +

2005-02-04T01:06:00.000-08:00

omg! impt announcement! 1st match against unity.. we lost 4 points.. sobx sobx.. we can win de!! wasted! 2nd match again yuhua.. we won!! yay!! *clap clap*.. so.. we muz jiayou le! remaining 3 matches we rgt girls muz jiayou together.. cooperate together and win them!!! rgt go go go!! we can do it de!! oh ya.. omg.. today is a tiring day.. go out with ah ma (real de horx) and my aunt plz my dear dear (baby cousin).. so so so cute!! love her so much!! bought lots of CNY clothes.. spent 100+ sia.. omg!! heart pain!! but all are those i love alot.. heex.. hmmm.. and not forgetting my piggy.. still same.. we still very close.. toking almost every night.. hmmm.. but my piggy sick le.. got sore eyes.. *heart pain*.. see la.. act strong.. didnt take care la. *ah bish* haiyoyo.. hmmm.. can be so close with piggy.. coz there's one point i very xin shang of him.. he'a a man whom keep his words de.. ta shuo de dao.. zhuo de dao de.. this is the part i admire him most.. heex.. coz whenever he say he'll call me or sms me.. no matter how late.. he sure will de.. heex.. very good horx.. of course la! my piggy lehx.. ad last but not least.. matt.. u'll always be in a corner of my heart.. never ever be forgetten.. understand? once my son.. always my son.. dun be sad over me le.. my heart aches too.. =)

+ sad sad de me.. losing u.. +

2005-01-27T22:12:00.000-08:00

haiz.. time flies.. alot things happened to me too.. one of the things tt had a big impact on me.. is tt i lost my son ba.. hmmm... dunno how to say.. he's someone whom care sooo much for me in the past.. someone whom made me feel so loved.. feel tt i'm really so special to him.. and i tot i could be so honoured for all my life.. but now.. haiz.. we drifted apart.. so sad so sad.. dunno why feel so so so sad.. haiz.. now tt i've lost him.. haha.. things still go the same ba.. the world is still spinning day and night.. but.. deeply in my heart feel bit lost ba.. dunno why too.. but.. haiz.. feel lonely without him ba.. but i know without a mamie like me in his life.. its much better ba.. coz.. i only made him sad.. haiz.. i'm sorry matt.. really sorry.. wo bu shi gu yi de.. ='(

+ happie huiqi..! dunno lehx.. +

2005-01-18T06:23:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. quite sometime didnt write in here le worx.. heex.. hmmm.. quite happening.. piggy went in army.. but he still got call me every night or once in two nights.. heex.. so happy.. very happy tt he'll still think of me worx.. heex.. taoyan taoyan!! =p yesterday he called me.. i also complain tt he didnt sms me le.. after tt he msg me worx.. so happy and surprised.. "dun worry abt me.. good night.. sweet dreams.. miss ya.. muackx.." omg!!! happy happy!! seldom de "msgs" worx.. but also sad.. coz accidentally deleted it.. haiz.. sobx sobx.. sad sad liaoz.. hmmm and ya.. i think these days i had been noticing a guy ba.. got "bio" him la.. but.. duno lehx.. 588-24747? dunno lehx.. bu ke nen de la.. heex.. =) most impt!! stay happy can le worx.. heex.. qiqi muz be happy ok!! *yay*

juz another day.. filled with satisfaction.. =)

2005-01-10T21:40:00.000-08:00

hey hey.. hmmm.. today ping and me tok alot alot things worx.. heex.. happie happie.. she siaoz.. keep thks me.. mind got prob.. heex.. but.. nvm la.. welcome worx ping.. seeing my good friends happy i also happy ma.. nth much to thks too.. dun keep "touching" worx.. dun "touched"... later i report police say u molest me huh! heex.. bleahx!! ping thks.. happy tt u appreciate too.. heex.. stay happy ya?
hmm.. sad sad.. going to be 11 of jan soon.. haiz.. my piggy going army le.. sobx.. abit sad sad worx.. no one pei me tok tok on phone le.. dunno can get use to it ma.. hmm.. but piggy.. muz take good good care of urself ok.. jiayou huh! dun "eat snake" huh.. heex! all the best.. best wishes to u my dear zhuzhu.. get well soon worx! remember contact me!! miss u lots lots again! =(
hmmm.. and ya.. tt issac? hahaha.. a good guy bahx.. nice feeling too.. mystery? hahaha.. but didnt see him at ytp before lehx.. strange.. heex.. but.. he's caring enough bahx.. heex.. erm.. and.. think he can make a good good friend too ya? heex.. bleahx!! =p

+ mummy.. i love u.. +

2005-01-09T13:28:00.000-08:00

so happy.. i think my mummy is getting better and better each day.. really hope she'll be fine.. and these days i very guai worx.. always go home early pei her.. mummy.. really need u to be by my side.. dun wish anything happen to u plz! and i'm really sorry.. i know u wouldnt know i wrote this page in my journal for u.. but juz wish to tell u.. i love u alot.. and.. i'm sorry if i ever hurt u.. mummy.. my first wish will always to see u happily and healthily!! mummy is the best!! =p

+ new year! [h-h].. happie huiqi~ +

2005-01-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

yay! new year le.. 2005 le worx.. muz work hard this year le.. need to study hard, train hard (bball), work hard (dunno can cope ma), and be guai guai hard (coz last year to naughty) le.. heex.. jiayou ooo qi! u muz stay happy this year ya? no matter wat happens, muz be strong ya? heex.. =p i will de!! *winkx*.. oh ya.. i've create a "hi-5" acc le.. heex.. so funny de.. a sort-of friendster de thing.. oh ya.. and i've cut my hair too.. omg.. some say i look like blosson in the powerpuff girls.. omg.. but some say my last time hair nicer.. haha.. bo bianx la.. cut already.. muz wait lor.. but no matter wat hair, its still me right? heex.. *bleahx* hmmm.. and aso my piggy is going to army soon le.. omg.. cannot tok to him on phone often le.. gonna miss him lots lots de worx.. but juz like wat he says.. its part of life ar.. heex.. i'll wait for him to finish de.. den we can tok tok on phone again ya? heex.. =p.. and ya! most of all.. i've know a guy issac from friendster worx.. dunno link from who de.. heex.. hmm.. see from his testi, he got go ytp play bball too de worx.. strange.. heex.. a mystery! heex.. hmmm.. end here le.. update next time if i got new events in my life.. heex.. =p

ping, yan and me! armpit friends!!

2004-12-24T11:41:00.000-08:00

hmmm.. hao kai xin.. so happy to have ping and yan to be with me.. all these days.. 3 of us are so close.. so good.. we always hang out together.. always share our ups and downs.. although holidays are ending very very soon.. but.. i hope ping, yan and me will never drifted apart.. really hope our friendship will last.. its the both of them tt made me realised tt i'm not alone.. its them who pei me to spend all my time.. it both of u who really made me happy! and u all will always be my "best armpit friends".. heex! the one only pair of armpit friends! heex.. thks yanping.. thks wenyan.. thks my left right armpit friends! heex.. muackx!!

wat a great dream i had.. heex!! =p

2004-12-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

wow.. yesterday night i had a dream.. me and piggy agreed to meet at our "lala land".. we said to meet at fareast in our dream.. at first we fail to dreamt of each other.. den we tried again.. this time round i really dreamt of him.. i dreamt of him meeting me bringing along lucky.. our cute little doggie.. heex.. in my dream.. we are so close so close.. so fun.. so sweet.. the scenes are all still so clear.. in my dream.. i still dreamt tt he went to my bball match.. and i keep scoring.. heex.. hao kai xin.. wat a weird dream i had right? but.. very happy.. very happy to have a dream like tt.. heex.. thks piggy.. miss ya lots.. =p

+ yay!! hao kai xin oo.. thks ping! +

2004-12-22T19:24:00.000-08:00

today i'm sitting at my house playground there talking to ping.. we said lots of things.. tok abt lots and lots of things too.. and today i get to realised actually ping placed me as her sort of "best friend" now.. heex.. really very happy to hear tt.. last time de me.. i'm always thinking whether i'll be a good friend of her.. coz i know na and her very very close.. so.. its not easy to be a best friend of hers.. but thks ping.. thanks for telling me so many things.. thks for all ur trust.. ur care.. and ur concern.. really very very happy to have u as my "best friend".. although it may be for now.. or maybe this kind of closeness will not last.. or watever.. but.. juz wanna tell u.. whenever u need me.. give me a call or sms.. and i'll be right there for u.. ok? heex.. *bleahx* hope our friendship will last ya? and most of all.. thks to my "left right armpit friends".. they are always hanging around with me.. we 3 seems to be so good nowadays.. hope this kind of "relationship" will last forever.. feel so blessed to be with u guys.. *muackx*
left armpit friend - yan ping *lee zhu ping*
right armpit friend - wen yan *ti ge*
owner - hui qi *me*

+ stupid qi.. ben dan! +

2004-12-22T13:25:00.000-08:00

today my "armpit friends" get to know piggy.. they get to hear his voice through my hp.. but.. dunno why.. i get bit bit jealous over it.. humph.. why i so xiaoqi de! like this also will get jealous.. somemore they are my "armpit friends" lor.. how can i get jealous with my good good friends? haiyox! *ah bish* wake up qi! heex.. and somemore.. frankly speaking.. piggy isnt urs too.. i dun have the right to get jealous over anything too ar.. right qi? hmmm.. yes.. qi.. jiayou ooo.. muz control urself sometimes ok? heex.. jiayou jiayou jiayou!!! =p cannot always jealous jealous le la! understand? =)

haiz.. sad sad.. ='(

2004-12-19T23:38:00.000-08:00

haiz.. these days got prob with my family.. haiz.. they dun seems to trust me.. say tt i'm getting worst.. bad in studies.. go home late late.. mix with "zhu peng gou you" haiz.. sad sia.. why? why whenever i go home.. they seems to give me tt kind of "bo chap" face? haiz.. they still care for me ma? i know i'm wrong.. i'm trying very hard to be guai le.. but at least.. give me chance to change hao ma? hao shang xin.. mummy.. i love u.. daddy.. trust me plz.. give me one more chance to change to the better.. haiz.. i seems fine with u all's "bo chap" reactions.. but.. haiz.. i think the thing i need now is "love" bahx.. family love.. haiz.. miss my dad & mum.. miss our happy times when i'm young.. miss the love the concern from u all.. miss my happy family.. sobx sobx..

+ single is the best! winkx +

2004-12-17T10:16:00.000-08:00

haha.. now den realise.. happiness is very very impt in a person's life.. so.. i rather choose to be happy den to like someone and tears.. dun wan le.. heex.. dun wan like anyone le.. maybe single is better bahx.. wont be sad.. wont get hurt.. and.. my family.. i dun wan keep having probs with them le.. i wan them to like me as well.. plz.. give me one more chance to be back the good good daughter of u all's can? wo hui jiayou de! qing ni men bu yao fang qi wo.. hao ma? qiqi will always be happy.. juz wanna be happy.. and tts the only aim in me presently.. sadness go away!! heex.. i dun wan sad.. dun wan fan.. dun wan stress.. dun wan cry liaoz.. smiles smiles smiles.. always bring a broad smile with me everywhere i go.. heex.. qiqi.. jiayou jiayou jiayou!!! ni yi ding ke yi de ooo! =p

piggy.. thks for ur care.. but.. =(

2004-12-14T12:33:00.000-08:00

haiz.. he called me le.. he called me yesterday.. and i teared for him.. dunno why.. juz feel very happy tt he called.. haha.. i so foolish and stupid right? omg.. although he called me le.. but feeling weird too.. dunno why.. maybe we are not the same le.. but.. thks for all the concern u had showered me.. really very happy too.. thks fo being there for me.. maybe.. we are only normal friends bahx.. =) xie xie ni.. zai zai..

piggy.. wo zhen de hao shang xin.. ='(

2004-12-13T13:36:00.000-08:00

piggy,

u made me so sad.. hao shang xin.. u ignore me.. u dint even wan to contact me.. no sms nor call.. today is the 3rd day le.. 3rd day nth from u le.. haiz.. sobx.. i know u got chalet.. haiz.. but.. why not even a single sms from u? a simple de sms.. "good nite".. tts more den enough for me le.. but why? why like this? am i too ugly? really coz of this ma? haiz.. ni zhen de bu yao li wo le ma? ur ringtone hasnt been ringing for very long le.. miss ur voice, ur laughters, ur lame jokes.. miss ur everything.. haiz.. but i dun dare call u.. coz u did told me.. our conversation seems to be boring.. i dun wan see u boring.. haiz.. are u still my piggy? or should i call u zaizai? haiz.. i know we are juz normal friends.. maybe even lesser den tt.. i know u dun need to call or sms me.. u dun need to contact me.. u dun need to have the responsibilty to find me.. but.. juz wanna say.. piggy, i really miss u.. miss u lots lots~ sobx sobx.. saddens~

+ memories and past +

2004-12-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

- grace *chicky*
[my ex-best-friend.. someone who cherish me alot alot in the past.. but i took her for granted.. regretting after tt and wanted her back.. did alot things to get her back in my life.. and once again be my best friend.. but its useless.. she threw away all my efforts and hardwork.. threw away all the care tt i showered on her.. and now.. she choose to be in church.. and i choose to be in bball.. we seems to existing in two different worlds.. although i know we cant be back like the past anymore.. but.. u indeed gave me lots of happy memories too.. of course tears are dripped for u at times.. but u'll forever in a corner of my heart as someone who are truly important to me in the past.. as my one and only chicky.. x01.01.04x]

- jeffrey *teletubby*
[last time.. we are so close so close.. he's my teletubby, and i'm his baby sun.. a guy tt care alot for me in the past too.. he gave me warmth, gave me care, gave me "an quan gan".. but end up giving up on me.. after he gave up on me.. i realised i love him.. i realised i need him.. but he fall for my "best friend".. how can i fight with my best friend? how can i have him when his heart is not with me.. so.. i gave up.. gave up on him.. and be with another guy.. tt guy? his "good buddy" too.. haiz.. all these are really so foolish.. lots and lots of misunderstanding.. end up changing our fate.. changing our destiny.. but now.. he had found his true love.. found his princess.. he had a gf.. call "ling".. someone he love alot alot.. seeing him so happy.. i'm so happy for him too.. so.. muz stay happy always ya? dun disappoint me.. all the best.. my teletubby~ x26.01.04x]

- siliang *stupid guy*
[yes.. he's my stupid guy.. and i'm his stupid ger.. but tts the past le.. a guy tt like me alot alot last time bahx.. erm.. good guy.. caring, friendly, good.. like me since last year de august bahx.. till this year.. he found his ger.. but after tt we were close again.. he ask me.. but i reject once more.. found myself quite foolish to reject him coz of "my ex".. coz tt time de me.. i still love my ex alot.. i know i shoudnt love my ex le.. but tt time.. dun wish to lie to him.. coz my heart is still with "my ex".. so.. i gave gave up on him again.. after sometime.. i did confess to him abit.. but sort of kanna reject.. now ar.. friends bahx.. but he's someone who left me great memories.. he's very strong.. determined too.. someone whom i'm impressed with his character.. heex.. thks liang.. thks for being there for me in the past]

- "him".. *my ex beloved*
[my first boyfriend.. although not the first guy tt i truly love.. but he's someone tt i'm hard to forget.. when i'm with him.. i'm not sure my feelings for him.. but after being with him.. he made me fallen deeply in love with him.. i gave up lots of things juz becoz of him.. my family, friends, studies, bball.. everything i had.. i gave up.. juz for him.. coz i simply love him too much in the past.. i do lots of things for him too.. but i shouldnt ask for anything in return.. coz love is giving willing without asking for anything.. juz love him too much.. end up losing everything.. including him.. yes.. a guy i cried day and night for.. a guy tt i miss lots lots too.. a guy tt gave me lots of memories.. but coz of girls.. and lack of trust.. we break up.. and i lost him.. tot he would still be thinking of me.. but.. i'm wrong.. he didnt.. he found himself a gf.. haha.. tt time.. i collaspe bahx.. really collaspe.. feel so hurt.. so pain.. but.. so wat? this is him.. wat can i do? so wat if i love him? so wat? he's too much for me.. too much for me to carry on with my life.. tts why i choose to give up.. give up him and start anew.. i dun wan cry le.. dun wan pain.. dun wan tears.. i only wanna smile.. smile and smile! but.. thks.. thks for letting me realise so many things in life.. last but not least.. juz wanna say.. u are indeed the one and only guy i cried so so so much for.. and.. yi qian de wo zhen de hen ai ni.. x15.02.04 - 03.07.04x]

stars of plggy`qI.. special!!

2004-12-13T12:48:00.000-08:00

- gwen *dajie*
[someone who always listens to my sorrows.. always there to pei me.. give me lots of advices.. someone whom i'll first approach to when i'm sad.. although she's older den me.. but i really respect and cherish her alot alot.. thks gwen! u birghtens up my life..]

- matthew *son*
[a son who dotes on me.. a son tt never fails to pei me whenever i'm sad.. a son tt treat me extremly well.. thks for all the care and concern tt u shower on me.. u truly did lots and lots of things to comfort me and touch my heart.. although time and again u hurt me.. but.. really happy to have a son like u.. juz wanna say.. u'll always be my one and only son.. someone whom i'll definately needed as a part of my life..]

- zaizai *piggy*
[a guy who always chu power.. a guy who always make me angry.. but always giving in to me.. brought me lots of laughters too.. a guy who'll worry for me, sms me, call me, and get jealous for me.. most impt.. someone who helps me to forget "him"..
although we are counted "strangers".. but.. i truly cherish him alot too.. haiz.. but now.. we drifted apart le.. we are not like the past anymore.. so hurt!]

- yinxuan *angel*
[someone whom i feel very comfortable to be with.. a very friendly and cute ger.. someone who gave me warmth.. very special kind of feeling.. my tears seems to flow down like tap whenever she's the one consoling me.. feel very safe with her around.. having tt kind of feeling say "xuan is here.. qi dun worry.." haha.. dunno why too sia.. thks xuan! u are my angel.. one and only one~]

- yanping *li zhu ping*
[a nu ren.. a chou nu ren.. an ugly bu.. super ugly one.. super good friend of mine.. these days very close with her.. someone whom i can rely on.. someone whom i wanna share my ups and downs with.. someone who wont bang seh me.. and someone who'll always stay there for me.. although dunno when can this "close-ness" feeling last till.. but i really cherish the times with u.. thks ping.. thks for ur trust too..]

+ first blog.. first entry! +

2004-12-13T12:36:00.000-08:00

hey hey.. get a blog for myself le worx.. heex.. happy happy.. next time got wat things happen.. i think i will wrote it in here.. all those sad and happy de.. all dump inside.. coz.. keeping everything in heart is really a suffering to me.. very xin ku and nan shou de worx.. heex.. these days can say alot alot things happened bahx.. happy? sad? both also got bahx.. but think sad ones are much much more.. haiz.. quite depress these days.. but.. i'll try to be happy de.. always smiling with my broad broad smilex.. heex.. *winkx* =p